Sunday, January 27, 2008

Random Thoughts...Again...

There's too much noise inside my head. I don't know what's happening to me. I cannot keep still. I've been fidgeting. I think I'm bipolar. For these past three days, I have been restless. It's as if I have a sudden burst of energy. I haven't slept very well. However, tonight, I feel a bit depressed, although I still feel restless. Gosh, I can't keep still!

I miss a friend very, very much, although the last time I saw her was just the other day. I had some snacks with her children and her husband at a coffee shop. I don't know why I want to see her. Gosh, I'm having strange thoughts and feelings! I am so ashamed of myself.

I scare myself sometimes. There are days when I can become very impulsive. I cannot help it. It's hard for me to write but I am forcing myself. My thoughts are scattered everywhere.

I feel like crying. I don't even know why. I can't find any reason to cry. Am I going crazy? And why do I think of death sometimes? I don't want to die yet, but why does the thought sneak into my consciousness? I'm scared.